-No thank you. -Why you no eat mammoth? -Oh, uh, me doing this thing. -Uh, this little pleisto diet thing right now. -What that? -It stupid fad diet. -No, no no. It just diet where me only eat thing australopithecus ate. In early Pleistocene era. -That sound very restrictive. -No, no, it not so bad. Uh, me can still eat raw fruit, vegetables and tubers and small lizard. -Can Ugg eat early ancestor of cow? -No, that not part of diet. -Can Ugg eat small stones? -No, not that. -Can Ugg eat big lizard? -[grunts] -No, guys. Rules very simple. -Okay, me only eat fruit, vegetables, tuber, and small lizard. -You think if australopithecus alive today, he not eat mammoth? -That not point. -Ugg think he better than us. -No, no, no. Me just think australopithecus healthier before we start processing food with fire, okay? It more natural way of living!
-[both grunt disapprovingly] -That early ancestor of bullshit! -No, it not. No. No, it true. I… I show you this study, it show man who hunt mammoth two hundred percent more likely to die early. By being crushed by mammoth. -Me need to see source of this study. -And it likely not peer reviewed. -It true, me read it. Okay, and tuber a great way to cleanse body of toxin. -[both grunt angrily] -Toxin frequently misused word! -It not thing Ugg need worry about. -Why this bother you, huh? Me decision not affect you. -Me worry you falling for pseudoscientific claims! Health science notoriously unscientific! -It not that big deal, okay? Diet just simple rules for help me figure out what eat. Maybe me not eat poison mushroom. Or not eat rock. Or shit. -What wrong with shit? Shit good! -Me think modern human eat too much shit. -Me think Ugg develop eating disorder. -[grunts in agreement] -Look, me love shit. Me not knocking shit. But me problem is, Thog put big pile of shit in front of me, me can’t stop eating it. -Me worried you harming body for stupid fad. -At end of day, me not argue with results. Alright, since me start pleisto diet, me look and feel great. -Me guess that makes sense. -That why me vegan. -VEGAN?! -[all grunt and shout angrily] [Sketch ends] -Hey, it’s Grant from CollegeHumor. Thank you for watching. Click here to subscribe to the channel, click here to watch another video, And click here to see what I look like without a shirt on. Ah. Weird that it’s the same, isn’t it?