– [Kris Carr] Hey guys, hello. Happy Wellness Wednesday. Happy Wellness Wednesday my friends my Facebook family I missed you guys last week I wasn’t here last week cause I was doing our first live call with our 2019 crazy, Sexy You crew. So I wasn’t here with you but I thought of you the whole time because I’m so enjoying these Wellness Wednesday Lives together. So anyway, I have a really awesome topic for us today. It’s basically something that has been the key to my overall I don’t know, success with my wellbeing and it’s very simple. I’m going to share it
with you in a minute. Hey Lorie. Hehe But you know I like to start with a, um a little personal catch up and, you know, fill you in on what’s going on with me before I learn what’s going on with you and share the topic of the day. Which, you know what, screw it. I’m just going to tell you what it is. We’re gonna talk about how to stop blocking your progress. What? It’s a good one, right? I’ma give you two tips. So, personal update,
Crazy Sexy You started like I said. I was so excited about the class of 2019. They are doing so well and some of you are in that class. So send I send you all my positive vibes we’re gonna to a Facebook Live tomorrow and those of you who aren’t in the class send our people some good love because they start eating today, their having some detox
symptoms this week. And, you know, it’s just
a good time to send out love to people who are doing their best to feel their best. So anyway, that’s what’s going on. And then also yesterday, which was Tuesday is the day we usually publish our new blog and this week we decided to do a little something different. So I sent out a message just to my inner circle so that everybody who’s on my email list I sent out a private personal message because I was getting this feeling that everybody could use a hug. It is time for a group hug everybody could use a hug a little bit of love a little message when they didn’t expect it from somebody who loves them and is thinking about them all the time and wishing them well. That is me thinking about you. And so many of you aren’t on my newsletter and if you aren’t I want to encourage you to join. In fact, when you join I’m gonna give you an awesome free ebook and so many other goodies cause I send out goodies all the time. So if you want to join my newsletter there’s a link in the description there is a link in the post. I’m sure Jesse will add that. Or you can go to KrissCarr.com/freestarterkit. So you’ll get messages like the one I’m about to share and a free starter kit! Plus so much more. So anyway, you guys know that my dad is still going through his journey with Pancreatic Cancer and maybe like six months ago I got this intuitive hit that he needed some love or encouragement he was feeling a little down and so I sat at my desk did a little meditation before hand lit a candle put my fingers on my keyboard and just typed. Just typed a message of love. And it just channeled right through me. And so I wanted to share it with you because again maybe you need a hug today. So here’s what I wrote. You don’t need to fix or change anything about yourself to be loved. You are loved, just as you are in this exact moment. The version of you who woke up today is the best version of all. In fact, you don’t need to accomplish anything to be special. You’re birth was that special miracle the universe is still toasting and applauding that magical day. Now you may not feel
this way all the time. In fact most days you might feel flawed scared, and frightened. Parts of your body aren’t working right, you’re job isn’t going well, folks are disappointed in you and so on, blah blah. The inevitable tangles of life can make you feel like try as you might you’re just not doing stuff right you’re just not enough. But I want to remind you that none of that is true. In fact, it’s a bunch of bologna. And you know how I feel about bologna. It’s bad for you. What is true is that you are good and wonderful, and deeply loved right here, right now. If you forget this truth if you sink into doubt,
fear, overwhelm or guilt just read this little note. Think of it like a soul flashlight that’s here to help you find your way home to yourself. And one more thing trust that you are healing. I love you. So there you go guys. I hope that that was a message that you could use, too. And I hope that you sign
up for my newsletter so that I can send you more messages just like that. Let me just take a minute here to just check in. Hi everybody, hi from long, oh Long Island, Sharron’s here, we got folks from Missouri, hey John, hey Liv hey Marry Lou, Tasha Hi honey. Awe Susan says thank you so much for that hug. You got it. Oh my goodness Maureen from Ohio is here. Oh we got folks from St. Petersburg. Hello, Dee is here, Hi honey. Amazing, thank you for sending me what you just mentioned. That’s so great. Hey guys, hello everybody. Alright, so now I’m gonna share a personal update with you and then I’m going to
dive into our topics. I share these things with you guys because you’re so smart. We are a wellness community and I may have a lot of tips but I know you guys have so many tips too. And out of the blue we’re dealing with another health crisis in my family. So my husband Brian woke
up about seven days ago with a terrible case of Tinnitus. Yes, it’s called Tinnitus or Tinnitus. I don’t know, what it’s really called but the medical community
calls it Tinnitus I always thought it was called Tinnitus. So we’ve been, I’ve been, research my butt off to help him with this and we found some great things that have been very comforting so far. EFT of course. Cognitive behavioral therapy EMDR. These things have been very helpful to bring the distress
down around the Tinnitus and those of you who
deal with it you know. I didn’t realize so many
people were effected by it. And for my husband it’s
been super loud nonstop effecting his sleep. You know, not feeling well,
feeling super nauseous. Just feeling really out of sorts and quite honestly
scared and stressed out. So I’m grateful we have
the tools that we have. We have been tapping multiple times a day and again practicing some of the other things that I suggested. So I’m sharing this with you guys because you guys are so smart, as I said and with the hopes that if anybody any tips for me to go off and explore this was a new one for me. But you know how I dive in. I’m just cruising through. I’m cruising through the comments. You know how I dive in when I get on to a scent I go all the way. We’re gonna have, like the Crazy Sexy Tinnitus book or something I’m not sure. But anyway, I put that out there if you have some tips let me know in the comments or you could always email me at [email protected] And of course anything I find out I will share. Because like I said so many people are
dealing with this issue. Okay my dears, my friends, my loved ones. So now on to our topic and it’s about how to stop blocking your progress. Now the number one tip is this. Ditch the all or nothing approach. And you know what I’m talking about many of you are perfectionists. Many of you are, like, you know go all the way or don’t go at all. Give it your all, or forget it. If you blow it then you just say screw it I messed up, I’m just
gonna blow it all the way. Right, so that’s very all or nothing black or white thinking. And that thinking creates a lot of stress in our
bodies and in our lives and it goes further than that. So, in Crazy Sexy You our mantra is progress not perfection. So we focus on progress. Why because there’s no
such thing as perfection and the pursuit of perfection actually kills all creativity and blocks our progress. And so does that all or nothing black or white thinking. Like if I don’t do it exactly right why bother? If I don’t get the kind
of success that I want that somebody else has why bother? If I don’t get this reward or, you know if I don’t make this breakthrough or if I don’t meet this goal sometimes it’s unobtainable why even try? Right, so that’s very all or nothing. And so what that does actually I mentioned a moment ago it blocks progress. But let’s talk about blocking progress because actually blocking progress sets us backwards. You don’t just stay in the same place you go backwards in your development. And from a law of attraction perspective when you block progress with that sort of negative thinking you’re creating deep habits and you’re attracting more of what you don’t want in your life. So this is very common knowledge but it isn’t always common practice. The goal here is when you find yourself in that black or white,
all or nothing, thinking that you get out of it that you change your mind that you reframe, that
you choose healthier more positive, more productive thoughts. And you go back to celebrating the progress
that you have made as apposed to beating yourself up for not meeting your own super high expectations. So for example let’s say I just shared this on Instagram Live let’s just say that you go out to dinner with friends and you’re saying I am not going to eat that piece of dessert. Or I’m not going to have a Margarita or glass of wine, right? And then you’re at
dinner with your friends and you’re having a really great time and you say well I won’t order my own dessert but I’ll put my spoon into I’ll take a couple of bites of my friend’s chocolate cake. Or, you know what? I will order a glass of wine with and I’ll put Seltzer in it. I know, like, for all the wine aficionados out there it’s like Ah, they’re like, I’ll have a Spritzer. Haha. Or I’ll cut one Margarita with Seltzer that’s my trick because I don’t like strong alcohol but I might like to enjoy a Margarita once in a while so that’s my trick. But what we would do if we’re not focused on progress is we would decide that we blew it and then we would go home and beat ourselves up and open the fridge and drink more and eat more and make bad decisions and call that guy or
girl you shouldn’t call. It’s a cascade. As apposed to saying okay that is progress. I still made progress. So I’m gonna go home and have a nice glass of water and I’m gonna listen to a meditation and I’m gonna get some shuteye early I’m gonna reflect on how much I enjoy time with my friends. I’m making so much progress. Boom, boom, boom. And the more you do that the more you’re literally you’re changing your brain. That’s the best way to say it. It’s almost like a practice period, okay? So the more you have
those practice periods the more you progress,
if that makes sense. Are you guys with me so far? Wonderful. I’m just checking in on you guys. Wonderful. Yes, you guys are following along. Okay. And I’m sure that many of you can totally relate to this. Beatrix says this is me I’m always having these very frustrating moments and black and white and it’s so excruciating. So true, says Morisa. Yes, we totally get this, and we do this. The point is this is not about will power or motivation, or discipline. The problem is none of those things the problem is all or nothing thinking. So that’s what we wanna be working on. Again, celebrate those wins and embrace shades of gray. So lemme tell you a little story about that real quick. I’m sure you’ve heard me say this before if you’ve been following me for a while but as somebody who lives
with stage four cancer there was a time in my journey when I thought I couldn’t share what I was learning write my first book make my film, Crazy Sexy Cancer which is not out anymore guys you guys always ask me this but a little behind the scenes update that I’m sharing with you cause you’re my family is we are working on
bringing that back out. But anyway, I thought I can’t do any of those things unless I have the little bow on top of my story unless I’m this great example of somebody who overcame the odds and, you know, cured herself and became one of the, you know spontaneous remission stories but there’s nothing spontaneous about it it comes from hard ass work. And I was very down on myself I felt like a failure. I felt like I was not a
good enough patient, right So, ugh, all of that, what does that do? You can imagine just hearing me say that. You can imagine how much
stress that put on me. And it wasn’t until I decided to change my thinking around that and embrace shades of gray and embrace the fact that I can be incredibly healthy healthier than I’ve ever
been in my entire life as a result of the
changes that I have made. And on paper I can still be sick or have stage four cancer and that’s okay. But the overall quality of my life is what I’m focused on. I’m focused on the progress. I’m not focused on somebody saying it’s me, here’s your trophy here’s your clean bill of health here’s your scan that has nothing on it here’s your award, blah, blah, blah I’m not gonna focus on any of that I’m focused on the day-to-day progress. And celebrating all of
the wins along the way as apposed to, you know getting down on myself for supposed setbacks. And the thing about setbacks is they have a lot to teach us. Supposed setbacks. There’s so much information in there and sometimes we need pressure to grow. So these setbacks are, like, oh my gosh spiritual catalysts, let’s just say that. Okay. And I want you to remember one thing, too cause somebody said
this in the group, like having this exhaustion about starting over again. So let’s say you blow it or you think you blow it you’re perception is that you blew it and now you gotta start over again and yet again, once again, it’s just like you just don’t have it in you to start over again. But the truth is is that you’ve been on this
journey for a long time this journey of being a human being this journey of being a seeker this journey of being a wellness warrior this journey of being somebody who’s self reflective. You’re not starting from scratch. You’re not starting from square one. You’re starting from
half-way down the field. Or almost all the way down the field and you don’t give
yourself credit for that you don’t acknowledge that. So you’re not starting again from square one, from the beginning. You’re making a new attempt with so much more information and wisdom and maturity. So think about that. Alright, number two. Number two. The second thing I want to teach you or share with you cause you already know this is what stops us from progress is our fear of failure. This is such a big one for everybody weather it’s fear of failing at a diet or fear of failing at
a new wellness routine or fear of failing at work or fear of failing giving a public talk or fear of failing on Facebook Live whatever it is, like. Before I started this Facebook Live my husband was here and we were setting up
another video for YouTube and he mistakenly pressed Go Live. Haha. I was, you know like Ahh we’re not ready to go live, you know? He’s got, like, super dirty sweatpants on. Anyway, the point is is that we’re so afraid we’re gonna fail. We’re so afraid that, you know the Facebook Live isn’t gonna go right or whatever it is that we don’t even bother trying. We stay stuck. The truth is the only way to fail is not to try. That is the only way for you guys to fail. And the reason that we learn the rule, so to speak so the rules of wellness or in Crazy Sexy You it might be all of the program that my
team and I put together and the meal plan that we’ve laid out after six go-arounds and 12 thousand people going through the program and going through all the surveys and making so many adjustments
along the way, right? So we put together a protocol but I think what can
happen is that folks think if I don’t do it perfectly then I’m failing. But here’s the thing that I learned from my experience as a wellness traveler and as somebody who has
lead this program is there are many people
who have gone through it hundreds, maybe thousands who have not done it the way I laid it out who have not followed everything that I suggested. Who have moved the meals around and changed things up and did different workouts, and like you name it. Like they sometimes come
up with better things than I even thought about and they do even better. And then sometimes better than the people who follow things to the letter. So the point is is that we are so much more mailable. You know? Our bodies are so much more forgiving. It’s our perception in our mind, in our thoughts that keep us trapped. So again you wanna really think about the fact that you can’t fail unless you don’t try. You guys know I love sharing books I’m still working on Ask And It is Given. Decided to make this a slow burn. I was gonna try to power through and I was like, why not? Just have a little session each morning and take your time. So, instead, because I love reading I moved on to “Wolfpack” by Abby Wambach. “Wolfpack” by Abby Wambach. Have you guys heard of this book? It is so good. I haven’t moved on, I’m still doing this. But I also included this little snackable. I said earlier that it’s like if you have spiritual hypoglycemia and you need a hit You were just like your, you need a motivation hit cause you were having motivation hypoglycemia
and you need some nuts. This is just like a handful of nuts. Look at how small this is. You can do this in an hour. Not even. And there’s so much beautiful wisdom here. And Abby, this is the subtitle. How to come together, unleash our power and change the game. And this is from a New York
Times best selling author and a US Soccer Olympic Gold Medalist. This is a bad ass woman here. So anyway. I was thinking about this whole topic of to fear or failure that I wanted to share with you and so I remembered reading something that Abby wrote in her book. So I’m gonna read it to you real quick. She says, make failure your fuel. Old rule, failure means
you’re out of the game. New rule, failure means
you’re finally in the game. I love that. Yes. So she says Failure is not something to be ashamed of nor is it proof of unworthiness failure is something to be powered by. When we live afraid to fail we don’t take risks. We don’t bring our entire
selves to the table so we end up failing before we even begin. What? Yep. Ya with me? This is big stuff. Let’s stop worrying what if I fail instead let’s promise ourselves when I fail I’ll stick around. So let me share my interpretation of that. Cause I wanna reframe the word failure for a minute. When I detour. When I have a setback I will stick around. I will celebrate my progress I will not block it. Okay? Because the truth is is that supposed setbacks, and detours not only are they filled with fuel they teach you so much about yourself. They give you so much
wisdom and information that you can apply in
this practice called life. So, those are the two things I wanted to share with you today. Things that stop our
progress, a little recap is All or nothing thinking and fear of failure. So I hope that this helps you. I wanna thank you guys so much for sharing any tips that you have about Tinnitus, with me. And I want to remind you to click the link in the description and, you know, go get
your free starter kit if you don’t have it already. Again it’s KrisCarr.com/freestarterkit And you also get lovely love notes from me that I share with my inner crew. Alright, let me take a minute. And again just check in with you before I say goodbye. Oh. Coleen says I’ve been so sick and I haven’t been able to start CSY 2019. I just lost my place in reading her comment, there we go. And I was feeling really bad about it. I needed that hug. Thank you for all you do. Coleen girl. You feel better we are here for you whenever you can join us. You take care of you. That’s the most important thing. So then I got some more wonderful comments about Tinnitus. Again I will share that with you guys. Ah, Phyllis says progress not perfection I say it over and over because I am constantly stumbling. You are constantly progressing there’s no stumbling there. Um. Oh, Lisa says I’m lying
here feeling guilty that I didn’t walk more today. When I try to not be all or nothing sometimes I feel guilty if I don’t complete the “all.” Isn’t that a profound wisdom that you just tapped into? That is what you need to work on, Lisa. Because whatever you did is enough. Whatever you did today, is enough. It’s what you could do. And the more you honor that the more you’ll be able
to do more tomorrow. Yes Susan says she’s a progress blocker and I do need to lighten up. Hahaha. Listen, from one progress
blocker to another, Susan I think we both do. It’s a mental practice. It’s just coming back to the fact that oh I’m noticing that I’m
blocking my progress. I’m gonna choose a better thought I’m gonna choose a healthier thought. That’s why affirmations can be so so powerful cause they just get us out of this mental brain run. And that’s ultimately
what we’re trying to do. You know how, if you guys have dogs and a dog gets a hotspot you need to, like, snap them out of it give them a toy, give them a
cookie, take them for a walk because it gets them
out of that brain rot? Well we’re doing that all the time, too. We’re in the brain rot. We need dog trainers to help us. Haha. So good. But listen you guys, I love you. I can’t wait to spend more time diving into these comments Coleen says can you go live every afternoon, just kidding. Haha. I’ve actually thought about that I have a lot on my mind and so I often want to share with you. We’ll see if I can stick to the Wednesdays and then we can maybe
up the game from there. Maybe we’ll do your daily soul vitamin. What I love about this is I love that you guys
share with me, too. Because again, we’re all in this together and we need each other and you have more wisdom than you give yourselves credit for. This I know to be true. So listen, you guys have a
wonderful rest of your week I love you, I will see you next Wednesday and remember don’t block your wonderful progress. Okay? Muah! Byebye.