– Hi there, the internet. It’s me, a woman. – You may recognize me from TV. – Movies. – Magazines. – Or late night Google searches. – You’ve probably thought
about touching my breasts. – Or wonder what I’d look like
as a naked cartoon character. – It doesn’t matter
where you first saw me. – Maybe it was a Maxim spread. – Your favorite soapy teen drama. – Maybe it was a music video. – Or a genuine work of art
where I stretched myself and showed my range. – You don’t remember
that last one, do you? That’s okay. – I’m here to remind you that while you may be super familiar with the outside of my body. – My body also has an inside. – Including a pretty hefty amount of reproductive organs. – And in order to keep those reproductive
organs fully functioning. – They need some mother
fucking healthcare. – You know the stuff I’m talking about, the vagina, the breasts. – Plus all the other
things in women’s bodies that can be confusing. – Like the mammary glands. – Lymph nodes. – Uterus. – Uterine lining. – Fallopian tubes. – Ovaries. – Ovum. – Birth canal. – Clitoris. – Vulva. – Mons pubis. – Pudendal cleft. – Labia majora. – Labia minora. – And of course who could forget the Bartholin’s glands. – Those are the things
that secrete vaginal mucus. They get me really really wet. – They flood my basement, you
know what I’m talkin’ about. – And in order to keep those reproductive
organs fully functioning we need healthcare. – Think of pap smears like oxygen facials for the inside of the body because the thing is
our junk gets fucked up from time to time, too. – I know you fantasized
about having sex with us. – Come on, you know you have. – And I’m guessing that
fantasy doesn’t end with a condom mishap and
a trip to the drugstore for Plan B. – And I’m sure when you’re thinking about my beautiful huge breasts you’re not thinking about the fact that they need to be regularly screened for breast cancer. Also, we will go through menopause. We’ll still be hot, though. – Did you know that cervical cancer is underdiagnosed in women of color leading to higher mortality rates? – That’s something you
probably haven’t though about when you’ve imagined me
playing beach volleyball in a rainstorm while wearing a thong. – We need IUDs and STI screenings. – That way if you ever do get a chance to have sex with us we can do it in a safe,
responsible manner. – If you don’t do this for us we’ll never do anything
sexy for you again. – ‘Cause we’ll be upset. – But also because we won’t
have functioning bodies which means we can’t
do all the things we do that give you erections. – No more washing cars. – Jogging braless. – Or bidding on antique
costume broaches on eBay. – So please, when
politicians talk about things like not wanting to cover contraception. – Or prenatal care. – Or mammograms. – Think about us, sexily begging you to keep us healthy. – Because there’s nothing
sexier than being alive.