Wanna lose weight without drugs,
pills, or human rights? Then come to Venezuela, the most
effective weight loss solution in history! Other diets are unrealistic, regardless
of how hard you try, your country still has food. But thanks to ancient
Soviet secret, we’ve found a way! Here’s how: our government price
controls lead, as they always do, to food shortages, leaving you unable
to eat late at night, or most other times. Gee that sounds great, but won’t
I miss America? Please, we have plenty in common!
You’ll still find yourself standing in line for the latest release at the
Apple store, like ESPN, we’ve gotten rid of some on-air talent, and we
might be getting a cracker barrel. Look! There it is! I’m a journalist, is Venezuela
right for me? Of course! We’ve created designated
free speech zones just for you. You won’t believe how many calories
you’ll burn recycling, doing cross-fit, and taking community walks. Isn’t that a violent protest? No, they’re shooting a Pepsi commercial. Oh, that makes sense. But don’t just take my word for it,
listen to one of our success stories. We have no toilet paper, but it’s
okay because we have no food. Hahaha. When God closes a door,
he opens a window. There is pie on window? Learn how you can go from this,
to this. From this, to this. From this… Well what they have created in Venezuela
is a socialist paradise… To this… What you had in Venezuela wasn’t
technically socialism, it was Chavezism. Venezuela: try it today! No.