“She made her debut so early.” “She wouldn’t know
anything about the world.” I hated this bias so much. I thought, anything that I
can do, I will do by myself. What I disliked the most was to
hear, “What would she know?” I thought, let’s not forget about
the life of ‘Kwon BoA’ as a person. I am still amazed by what I
did in my teenage years. How did I learn Japanese? How did I survive on my
own in a foreign country? That’s what I sometimes think. I was scared of going on the stage. People expected so much from me and I thought I was being
flattened by the pressure. There was no input but I was
constantly trying to make output. When I took a step back to think I thought there wasn’t
much left in me. I thought I showed people so much
that I had nothing more to show and I started to lose confidence. Many people listen to other people but they don’t listen
to their inner voices. I am already in my thirties. Then I shouldn’t expect to be the
same as the teenager I once was. Or even the person I
was in my twenties. But suddenly in my mind there was a time when I thought,
“Can’t I look younger?” even though my physical
age had already changed. What does my inner voice tell me? Let’s listen to that. I don’t listen to music
or the radio in my car. When I am not working,
I want to do nothing. I once counted the minutes that
I really attended to myself and it was fewer than I expected. Not listening to something,
not talking to someone and not watching something was actually very important. When my ears, nose and mouth
were just in their places and resting as much
as they wanted to. After they take a break when I start to use them
again, I appreciate them more. When I am making music,
I am at my happiest and my most natural state and I can be myself. When I make music, I think this song is really good,
I want everyone to hear it. This is my purpose. It’s the reason I must make music the reason I am making music and the reason I’ve
done it for so long. Many people ask about the screams I hear on stage
or my popularity. But I don’t want to be on a
rollercoaster with all of that. When time passes my skin will change my hair will change and my motor skills
may not be the same. My financial status will change according to how I lived. But “I” don’t change. This what I can do well. This is my strength. Searching for such things I can search for things
that make myself shine. But I couldn’t see them because
I was focused on a few flaws. So I think if we
engaged in self-reflection we would find so many
strengths in ourselves. And these strengths will
make our lives very happy. Life with mental strength. Mentall wellness is the driving force behind happiness to live well and do well. That’s what I believe. And that is how I will live my life.