Hey um so it is like 4:15 in the morning I can't sleep I really have just been my gamma thoughts this morning and some self was Bob to me recently that just kind of irritated me honestly and it really had me thinking about social media in general and how it affects people and how important it is to some people and it's kind of scary the amount of influence it has and just how upset people get about social media is crazy to me it's beyond my understanding you know I understand some things are offensive but I think that people are focusing way too much on the little issues like who's blocked you or who said what about your selfie whatever and I just don't get it so this has taken social media is what I mean by this social media has taken a lot of things away from me I feel like it's taken my confidence it's you know taking my security and myself it just causes problems with things like you know I'm thankful that my boyfriend understands and you know he's mature enough that he doesn't kids are like terrible social media he's hardly on his and I've decided that I'm gonna do a social media detox I'm probably not going to delete my account but I am going to delete the apps off my phone and just focus on me my relationship my you know my stepdaughter my bonus daughter I guess I should say since we're not married I don't know I'm just I'm going to focus on me I'm going to focus on what makes me feel better I am in a really good place my isten has been doing amazing things for me and I've really just been feeling like I'm finally getting back on my feet I'm getting caught up from that horrible mental state that I was in and for those of you who didn't watch my first video that I made I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder I thought not that it was the root of a million problems I was having so I have decided that I'm going to be taking a social media detox and just come in delete the apps on my phone I'm going to you know pick up a book go outside if it ever stops raining you know I'm just gonna focus on me I'm gonna work out I want to be more body positive things like that I'm gonna you know spend more time doing these around my house maybe pick up a new hobby I'm not sure yet I just want to find something that doesn't leave me at the end of every single night at the start of every single day scrolling through my phone seeing who posted what who said this about this person who blocked you it's just too much for me at this point it is really affecting my mental health I wouldn't say it's to the point where it makes me feel unstable mentally but it definitely frustrates me and it gets to me more than I feel that it should so I'm gonna go ahead and take this ups on my part to just read myself of that burden and to just totally clear my mind be free of the opinions of everybody else and just focus on me and what I think is best for myself and you know my friendships my relationship my my family things like that um I did start a new job I'm the assistant store manager I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say where I work just because you know I am the assistant store manager so I don't want to get any trouble for putting them in a video if you know me know our work so yeah I just wanted to let everybody know in case you see any absence I'm I'm good I'm fine I'm just taking a break through myself I've been doing so well mentally and I don't want to backtrack that by getting caught up in social media and you know people being upset whatever I'm going to take this time to educate myself on what's going on in the world get involved and you know maybe some movements or you know read a little bit pick up a new hobby like I said so if you have any ideas you want to you know send me a text I'll keep my social media up for probably the rest of today just so people get time to see the video if you want my phone number so you can get a hold of me since you know I won't be on social media I'd be happy to give you my phone number I just really need a break I think I am gonna continue making these videos also it's really therapeutic for me to talk about my feelings and just what I've been thinking so I definitely think it's something that I'm going to keep doing because I really enjoy it and I feel like you know other people my dear and what I have to say I guess so I kind of want to build like my own little YouTube channel where I just talk about my feelings what I'm up to you know I could do reviews on anything so again I'm going to leave my social medias up for the rest of today if you have ideas what you kind of would want to see if I did make a YouTube channel and get you know really into it and focus on it then I would love that I would love to hear your ideas if you want to shoot me a message and get my phone number or something like that um so we can communicate well I'm not on social media that's fine too I just really need to take a break and focus on me and I feel like this is just the best way to do this without the influence of so many other people tell me what to think and how to feel so yeah and again this is not because I feel like I'm in a bad place or anything or I've just have really been thinking this morning about the influence of social media has on and it's crazy I'm very very dependent on it and maybe it's just my generation but I don't want to be I don't want to be dependent on technology I want to you know I appreciate technology for what it is and all its capable of doing all it's becoming but I need to focus on me and what I'm thinking and just kind of get myself out into the real world instead of living through the screen so again for like the fifth time now I would give anybody my number that one says you can get one of me you know I want to hear your ideas would you watch a YouTube channel if I made it like what kind of content do you want to see I'm just a 20 year old girl who doesn't really know what to do doesn't know where she's going from here so I want to try to see hear myself out for me and I would love to hear what ideas you guys have you know what hobbies do you have what makes you feel better what do you do to pull yourself away from your phone especially thumbs up indoors because this weather has been horrible it's not nice enough to go outside ever so also something that doesn't require a lot of money because I'm trying to save still yeah I just I I really want to be more open to myself and other people without the influence of social media so again until the end of today I will leave my apps up but then after that I'm going to delete them so I will not be able to be contacted through any of my social media and then I will probably check back in with another video I'll log in to like my Facebook and my Twitter to post a link to my video but I'm not going to spend a lot of time on it so you know I want to be able to communicate people or so I'll just make a video of dating you how it's been with Oscillation media post a link quickly and then probably get rid of my apps to get depending on how this little detox goes so again I wish you all the best I hope you guys are having a great summer um and I look forward to hearing your ideas and talking with you guys a little bit more about whether I plan to go from here because I really need help I have no idea what I want to do like where I want to go from where I'm at right now I just know that I need to be focusing more on me and where I want to go it's hard to find the words but yeah thank you guys for listening sorry this was kind of scrambled it's just what I was thinking about it for in the morning yeah okay well thank you enjoy this today