so I started doing Crossfit does anybody else in here do CrossFit all right yes all you guys are clapping everyone around you already knew that you did CrossFit okay you guys you guys might not know this you probably have actually already heard this but CrossFit is pretty much the exact opposite of a Fight Club the first rule of CrossFit is always talk about CrossFit in fact if you actually go to if you go to CrossFit for the first time your very first WOD is to post on Facebook I'm about to start CrossFit and the CrossFit people are absolutely crazy they all drank the kool-aid it is it's a it's a less tasty paleo version of kool-aid and they all drank it and they all went crazy okay CrossFit people are nuts when you do CrossFit you don't go to a gym for CrossFit you go to a box okay gyms are for games boxes are for torture and shame this is this is cross that people are crazy right CrossFit people wear these stupid expensive shoes right let me tell you why these shoes that I got for CrossFit are so awesome spend all this money on these shoes and as soon as I put them on and stand up it's like I'm not even wearing shoes why did I spend all this money than on these shoes okay it's like I have to have them in these completely audacious colors if I wanted to get them in like normal colors that don't make me feel like a child running on the playground or whatever like I'm surprised these don't light up in the heels when I when I work out or whatever if I want to get these in normal colors you got to pay like sixty more dollars and I was like just give me the neon ones okay and now I don't even feel like I'm wearing shoes this is the best purchase I ever made in my life CrossFit people are absolutely crazy they say that they say like the absolute craziest things I started to in CrossFit like four months ago my very first morning doing crossfit and there's this lady and she's like leading us through all these workouts and were like walking backwards and running backwards and like sideways and that was really hard for me we're doing all these things then we go into the actual like box okay torture shame remember and we start lifting some weights and doing all these things and spend like 40 minutes I've never been so sweaty and tired in my entire life smells so bad people just leaving the class it's awful and she says all right it's time to workout and I'm like looking here like what and she goes welcome to CrossFit are or mop or other people's work out and I was like shut up that's insane okay but I couldn't fight her because even though I told you she's a lady country she's awesome she looks like a basically a smaller prettier version of Thor okay she's and that's a compliment in CrossFit world by the way my saying she looks like a dude I'm saying she looks awesome okay and and so you just do it you do it coach Lisa says craftsman people say these insane things actually one time I showed up to CrossFit a few weeks ago and we're like doing this sideways running thing and I'm already like don't make me think I'm trying not to fall one of my coaches says hey man what's your number and I know he's not talking about my phone cuz why does he want to talk to me in real life but he says hey man what's your number I like what are you talking about he's like well what's your goal for today I was like oh you want a number – sixty minutes from now I want to be alive okay the other thing that they say that you'll shoot you'll show up once you be doing CrossFit for a while people say hey man other CrossFit people they're so dumb they say hey what's your pre workout routine you drink that protein shake you take your glutamine or whatever and I'm like okay my favorite repeat workout routine is like for like about an hour before I go to CrossFit I pretty much argue with myself about whether I'm gonna go to CrossFit it's it's so dumb and this is this is the dumbest thing no I'm not even lying to you or making this up for comedic effect on Monday I'm like doing this horrible workout where they tell you the workout it's like all this like you're running around the room lifting up weights trying not to cry because there's girls in the room and then after you do that for a while you got to do this 400 meter run that's too far okay and and then you do it all again like these few times and I'm not doing the weightlifting part and one of my coaches goes come on Justin rest while you're running I'm sorry coach I don't think you understand how running works okay that is like first of all that is confusing me and now I'm just cussing in my head and I don't what are you are you trying to sabotage my workout like this is absolutely insane just yesterday this guy was trying to help me and he told me to breathe later that was like what do I look like a chubby version of David Blaine I need to breathe now man if I don't we will there will be an ambulance pulling up the guys that look out they come out this is the other thing I showed up to CrossFit one time there was ambulance in front I was going to turn around and go home till I realized it was just one of that firefighter guys leaving he was like getting picked up for his shift and tastes like some handsome guy ever saves you he probably does CrossFit or whatever cross my people are absolutely crazy though but but as stupid as it is I absolutely love my CrossFit experience because what I've learned is that running all by myself wasn't working for me what I have learned is that I can't get fit alone